I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
