Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
