Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
