That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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