He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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