Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
