worst night to have a conscience
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
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Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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