At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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