The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize