Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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