I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
