So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
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No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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