he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
