all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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