There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
