I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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