my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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