Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
