Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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