I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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