So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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