So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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