Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
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I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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