I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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