Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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