Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
