fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
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You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize