After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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