Banned from zoo.
Again?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
