We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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