guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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