why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
