My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
