I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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