Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
