Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
