Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
