His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize