y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
