Pappa wants mamma naked
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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