omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
