i can't believe i had my finger in that
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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