Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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