I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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