You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we're so committed to being not committed
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
