They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
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You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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