who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
What a dumb baby whore.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
