Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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