I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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