its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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