Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sober January is a disaster.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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