hotel room ftw
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
