We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
