She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She bit a glass in half.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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