yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this