I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
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My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex