I'm jealous of your bromance
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.