I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices