Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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