you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
