everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
